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  • Gary Borland

#59 - From Chrysalis to Butterfly



Is your view of the past constraining the future?


The beginning of a new year can bring with it opportunity, excitement, possibility, and hope. But it can also bring disappointment, resentment, anxiety, worry, fear and overwhelm – among many other emotions. The irony of seeing and pursuing opportunity and possibilities is that they can often lead us to disappointment and resentment. Or they can create anxiety, worry, fear and overwhelm.


At some level, it’s likely that lurking beneath the surface of our hopes and dreams is ‘what if’? What if it doesn’t work out the way I hope? What if it fails completely? What if people think it’s not something I should be aiming for or doing? What if I can’t actually do it? And so the dream dies before it’s really been birthed, and with it, your excitement and your hope.


If you’ve ever experienced dreams, hopes or plans being extinguished by anxiety, worry or fear, perhaps it’s time to try again. Not to will away the emotions you’re experiencing, but rather to dig deeper and understand the source of those emotions and the devastating impact they might be having on your life. This enquiry will help you to regain the power you lost to a narrative and beliefs that are not who you really are – they’re a story you tell yourself about who you are. Things in our past may have been very difficult. The opportunities we had growing up might have been limited. And we may still be suffering very real consequences of our experiences. But it doesn’t have to stay that way.


Some neuroscientists describe us having an ‘internal model’, a frame of reference through which we experience the world around us. That internal model is shaped by many things in our lives, so accessing our ‘frame’ can be really helpful. Initially, this might seem challenging to do, but with practise we begin to notice more and more things that are actually creating self-imposed constraints on our lives – and with them, the extinguishing of our dreams and possibilities. Like developing new muscle, if we want to develop ourselves and grow, we need to be committed to that growth and to put the time and effort into ourselves. If you find it difficult to do that, it’s likely you’ve already come across the first part of your enquiry – where is my motivation, or why can’t I find the time to notice and observe myself?


Some of those observations will be the way we speak and the way we listen. The way we listen is likely to be strongly linked to our internal frame. What we say – and what we don’t say – are all pointing us at things we may never have really noticed before. But noticing is one thing, choosing to do something with them is another. So, if you recognise that you’ve had dreams, opportunities and excitement in the past that got suffocated, or if you find it difficult to dream, to create opportunities or even to have hope for the future, why not get in touch with us.


Supporting you to see beyond the stories, challenges and constraints holding you back and walk in the fullness of who you were born to be is why Fovea was founded. If you’d like an initial discussion and see if we’re right for you, please use the contact button. Don’t let this new year drift – choose to focus on you!

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