Do you normally experience fulfilment in your life? If not, why?
Almost everywhere we look it seems that there are calls for us to change; self-help books and self-improvement plans abound. Themes of personal transformation, however, aren’t new – they’ve been a major feature for centuries in religious faiths, ancient texts, fairy tales and more. But is any of this a good reason to embark on some kind of personal change, and if so, what’s actually going to help?
Perhaps the most important, and probably the only reason to seek any change in yourself is if you really want to. This is where an enquiry might begin and later, if you decide to embark on a journey of transformation, a deeper personal enquiry will be a key element.
Life can be busy so it’s easy to keep going without examining our lives. It’s amazing what we notice when we take time to ask lots of questions and consider at length whether we desire personal transformation, and, if so, why we want it. This isn’t a time to focus on what you think is ‘wrong’ with you, there’s nothing wrong with you. There may, however, be some things getting in the way of who you want to be, how you want to show up to others and what you want to do in life. This is something we all experience to some degree due to the way we develop and adapt.
From early in life, we observe and react to the people and circumstances around us. Even if you’ve had good health, great parents and teachers, and life seems to have gone well, you will have had times when your needs weren’t fully met. Through such experiences we learn coping strategies and defence mechanisms that may have served us well for a time, protecting us from harm. However, we often continue them beyond their useful life, and they start to hold us back. If you’ve faced traumatic or difficult circumstances, the impact is likely to be even more significant.
As you consider why a journey of transformation might be helpful, improving your wellbeing could be an important component. Why not revisit the wellbeing questions in our last blog #46 Overcoming Ourselves to assess how you’re doing. In addition, you might want to consider to what extent you experience a sense of peace and wholeness, whether you’re satisfied or striving to be something or someone else, or whether you respond to people and circumstances in ways you want.
I love my life, the people in it, many of the things I do and mostly I even love myself. This is the result of a big transformation in me over the past few years. I don’t want it to end here though, there’s so much more for me to discover about myself and the way I interact with the world around me. I believe that the same is true for you too.
So, if you want to walk in all the fullness of who you were born to be, loving others and knowing they love you, perhaps it’s time to start asking yourself some questions. Next month we’ll expand on the topic of deep personal enquiry and transformation.
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