Make room for your future self now.
Whether or not you‘ve intentionally worked on personal transformation, you aren’t the same person you were 10 years ago and, if you were to meet who you’ll be in another 10 or 20 years time, it might seem like meeting a stranger. Whilst we may have some idea about what might change, much of it is hard to predict. We’re likely to have different views, values and desires, new priorities, increased wisdom, and skills we didn’t think we were capable of, perhaps even a career we never expected. Not only will we be changed, but the world around us will also have changed – new technologies, changing culture, new people in our lives and much more.
These changes within ourselves and the world around us have a profound impact on many areas of our lives. So, what could we do in the present to shape our future, and what will make it easier to adapt to our future self?
It’s easy to get stuck in what we’ve always done. It’s a place we can feel safe and confident, believing that this is what we’re best suited to with our skill set. It’s worth challenging yourself for two reasons; firstly, you may already be capable of far more than you currently think, and secondly because your future self is likely to be capable of even more. Are there passions and dreams you’ve discounted because you didn’t think you could achieve them? Maybe those passions are there because your future self will fulfil them. Keep them alive and start thinking now about what you can put in place to see them come to life.
When politicians and leaders change their views on something, they can receive pretty negative press feedback. How do you react to people changing their mind – whether it’s someone famous or someone close to you? Do you see it as a strength or weakness – perhaps that depends on whether you prefer their original position or the new one? What if you considered that your future self disagrees with your currently held view – would that help you to be more available to hear from people with alternative positions? Perhaps you’re more likely to hold on to views you’ve vehemently expressed for fear of what people will think of you, even when it doesn’t really feel comfortable anymore. Maybe it’s time to let some things go.
Language can be so important in helping to shape our ideas, keep us curious, and also maintain good relationships with people who disagree with us. Being certain you’re right means that anyone who disagrees with you is ‘wrong’ - they may experience being invalidated or rejected, they may feel hurt or disappointed and you may end up less connected to people who are really important to you. If that’s not your intention, then maybe it’s time to think more carefully about how you express your opinions and leave more room for uncertainty and differing views.
In the next blog we’ll dig a bit deeper into how we open up a space for conversation with people who may disagree with us and create more fulfilling relationships.